“I WAS NOT BORN A MISTAKE”
Meet Yiscah Smith
·Yiscah Smith was living as an ultra-Orthodox married man with six children and deep ties in the community before coming out as a gay man and leaving Israel. Once she was back in the United States, Yiscah come out as trans, underwent gender transition and took her current name. It took twenty years for Yiscah to return to Israel, where she became a religious educator and spiritual mentor. The film shows her incredible journey to self-acceptance, compassion, and, finally, to her home in Israel. It alternates between past and present, where she helps clients on their own paths of awareness and self-discovery.
This is probably one of the most intriguing transition stories we have ever seen. Born in a devout Observant Jewish family in Brooklyn as Yakov Smith, he was picked on and bullied for being effeminate. As he grew into a teenager and young man, he became increasing desperate to fit in with society.
By the time the he was 24 in 1971, he was totally immersed in the Chabad Hasidic movement in Brooklyn, and was then married an Orthodox woman. They had three sons and three daughters, and in 1985 they decided to immigrate to Israel.
Where Smith taught at a synagogue in Jerusalem, he was considered a rising star and was made chairman in the Chabad house where he was in charge of Shabbat and entertained guests from around the globe. Everything seemed great on the outside but all the while, Smith did not questioning their own identity. But after a Shabbat dinner, a guest drew Smith to aside and told him that he could see through his act.
This is what brought Smith to take s good look at life and he decided to come out as gay with the result that his wife started divorce proceedings. This also led to Smith being fired and shunned by his community. This eventually caused him to return to New York alone.
In New York, Smith led a secular life and ending up in California, working at Starbucks and living with a boyfriend. The relationship ended when the boyfriend said that Smith was too much like a woman. This was an important moment.
Becoming Yiscah Smith did not men just undergoing gender reassignment surgery but also finding her faith again and coming back to Orthodox Judaism. After having a brief relationship with a man from Texas man and coming to terms with her estranged mother, Smith returned to re-settle in Israel and has been successful as an educator, spiritual advisor and speaker in the “post-denominational Jewish experience. She is confident and happy and even while knowing and reluctantly accepting that only 2 of her 6 children will speak with her and then, occasionally. We see Smith as a woman who usually overthinks things and some of her decisions are still surprising.
She does not accept that she is a trans woman and demands that she has always been a straight woman who is attracted to men. She firmly believes this and when questioned about she is quick to dismisses her involvement with any transgender community. With Smith, the real transition is finding her way back to Judaism and her religion is the one and only identity that accepts her with unquestioning faith.
“I Was Not Born A Mistake” is the directorial debut of Israeli filmmakers Eyal Ben Moshe and Rachel Rusinek. I would have liked a few more interviews/comments from people who had shared parts of Smith’s life. Nonetheless, this is an important film that makes valuable contributions to the dialogue about the transgender community.