“Santa’s Kinky Elf, Simon” by Damian Serbu— Not an Ordinary Christmas Story

Serbu, Damian. “Santa’s Kinky Elf, Simon”, Ninestar Press, 2018.

Not an Ordinary Christmas Story

Amos Lassen

Before you read Damian Serbu’s Christmas novella, “Santa’s Kinky Elf, Simon”, you might want to forget all you know about Christmas. Santa has decided that the time has come to reveal who he really is— a vampire. (He is eternal is he not and he does not seem to age from year to year. Santa always looks like Santa. Thinking about how to reveal this, Santa decides that the best advanced publicity comes from reality stories and he drafts Simon the Elf, a captive former human, to hit Chicago for the holidays and strike up a romance.

Santa knows his importance in the world and therefore wants Simon to document everything, so that people will understand what it is to live as a slave before the big story hits the streets.  give people a taste for life under Santa’s enslavement before the main story hits. Simon, at first, wants no part of this and resists Santa. He knows that any romance he finds will be short Forced to the Second City against his will, Simon at first resists Santa’s orders, knowing a romance would be short and cause some innocent victim to enter Santa’s depraved world.

What Simon did not take into account (and there was no way that he could have) was that he would meet a great and charming guy with a sharp wit and hot and sexy to boot.
Simon is enchanted by Jonah all the while knowing that what was to come would be horrible. Tragedy awaits the both of them. Santa captured and enslaved Simon… the old man is a vampire with a taste for death. He forces Simon to look for love in the gay bars of Chicago and then… (Did you ever notice that if you rearrange the letters in Santa’s name, you get an evil name that we have all been taught to fear?). The idea for the story is clever and Damian Serbu is a fine writer (who knows about vampires) and while I have never personally celebrated Christmas, there is something about the season that is intoxicating. However, here there is quite a different feeling.

I have long been a far of Damian Serbu and I anxiously await his literary output. He manages to give us characters who are “morally ambiguous” and that is exactly what we have in our elf, Simon. I got the feeling that this is the beginning of something that is yet to come from its author. I would love to read an expanded edition of the story and I have the feeling  that it is not far off.

I realize that I have not said a lot about what happens in the plot and that is because I do not want to spoil anyone’s read. I recommend picking up a copy of this for s fun holiday read and remember to think twice before you sit on Santa’s lap this year.

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