“Conversations and Cosmopolitans: Awkward Moments, Mixed Drinks, and How a Mother and Son Finally Shared Who They Really Are” by Robert Rave and Jane Rave— Between Mother and Son

Rave, Robert and Jane Rave. “Conversations and Cosmopolitans: Awkward Moments, Mixed Drinks, and How a Mother and Son Finally Shared Who They Really Are”, St. Martin’s Griffin, 2011,

Between Mother and Son

Amos Lassen

“Conversations and Cosmopolitans” is the story of a gay novelist’s relationship with his mother which is special in that there is nothing that they will not discuss. This is a very funny book that tells the story of a relationship that gains strength as mother and son open up to each other. It is certainly not the kind of relationship that most of us have had with our mothers. As different as the two people are, they balance each other out. The book not only is fun to read but it has a strong message about relationships and by reading this perhaps other mothers and sons will be able to sit and talk to each other. When I say that the relationship is balanced, this is because we see the two characters, each from his own point of view and it is an honest, heartfelt and endearing look at how two people get along.

Most certainly a major area of interest is when Robert tells his mother that he is gay but that turns out not to be a major issue. What we see is genuine love between mother and son. The book opens with the letter that Robert wrote to his parents telling them that he was gay and we learn that his mother’s reaction was to point out the grammatical mistakes or so Robert says. His mother says that she did not really respond to the subject but to the grammar was her way of showing her love for him and so begins the give and take between mother and son—a give and take this is full of love and mutual respect.

I loved reading about the different sides of the issues discussed and we see here that a mother remains a mother no matter what…and it would be really good if all mothers would accept that. Seeing the same situations from two sets of eyes is always fun and when done with understanding and love, it makes for interesting reading. As a gay person reading this book, I could not help but think back to the relationship with my mother and I am sure that will be true for all of the LGBT readers.

Leave a Reply