Eisner, Daniel Yves. “My Real Hue”, Page Publishing, 2017.
Understanding and Acceptance
Daniel Yves Eisner’s “My Real Hue “ is the story of his journey to fully understand and accept himself despite his family. Covering some fifty years, we are reminded that adult life is affected by childhood. When we meet Eisner at a young age, we become immediately aware that his relationship with his parents is stormy and dysfunctional. Eisner soon learns that the only way to save himself is to cut off ties with them. Through Eisner’s journey , familial ideas are shattered and we see that it is the individual and not the family that comes first. He fights self-destruction, self-loathing, guilt, depression, stress and thoughts of suicide. We also see that, in some cases, separation from the family is the better road to a happy and fulfilling life.
Eisner is a deeply sensitive person who is tormented by the ever-present pain of a domineering and denigrating mother and a passive indifferent father. His struggle to fully realize his homosexuality, is filled with colorful and very funny anecdotes – and memories that are bittersweet. His relationship with Matthew, his partner is deep and caring.
That relationship brings about his identity and leads him to help others though friendships and working with. Disadvantaged students at a community college. He is also the mentor of a gay writers group. Professionally he has been quite an achiever but he sees his personal relationships as the important aspects of his life.
Eisner’s parents are Holocaust survivors who came to New York to begin fresh lives. Having been raised Jewish, Eisner’s relationship with Judaism is strengthened by being involved in a congregation of a major Christian denomination.
After several humiliating escapades, Eisner confronts his mother demanding reconciliation. They reconcile through the obituary he wrote about his father that honors his family.
Not all parents are equipped to be nurturers and Eisner tried for many years as an obedient son to live up to the expectations of his narcissistic mother but realized that to do was an impossibility and not healthy. This is a story of overcoming heartache, pain, and life in general that is written bravely and in vivid prose.
Eisner understands that his mother negatively affected his life that his father did nothing to protect him. His attempts at freedom and liberation from his mother only came when he moved to a different state, owns his sexual orientation, finds love, and works at a successful career.
It was his parent’s 50th anniversary party that became the final straw and caused him to break the bond of family. It was after this party that he realized that his mother was sick and not going to change and whose life would become one of pain and drama if he did not get out of the situation.
In order to become his true self, Danny has to leave his dysfunctional family and refuse to be manipulated by his mother if he is to become the person he was meant to be. Eisner realized that his mother was incapable of loving him. He forced himself to made this hardest decisions so that he could live a true and honest life, create a supportive family of his own, and realize the happiness that he had not been privy to.