“God’s Boy” by Andrew Hahn— The Body, Desire and So Much More

Hahn, Andrew. “God’s Boy”, Sibling Rivalry, 2019.

The Body, Desire and So Much More

Amos Lassen

I love reviewing. I love finding new voices and sharing them with others and this has been a good week for that. I have, so far, this week read three important books by authors I did not know and I am still reeling from the impressions they made on me. I am constantly amazed at the new directions that LGBT poetry is taking and like everything else, it has become bold and says so much of what we once dared not say.

Andrew Hahn’s “God’s Boy” floored me. In his 22 poems, he struggles “with the fallibility of the body and desire in the ex-Christian tradition” and gives us his thoughts on “the church’s toxic masculinity” as he attempts to make peace with his worship between dad/dy and God as he struggles searching for “a loving mirror for the queer body”. We profoundly sense, along with him, what it means to not be there and the isolation of being alone or being with someone only temporarily. We immediately see the difference between the idea of masculinity as prescribed by the church in contrast to what Hahn sees and so he “queers the church-indoctrinated masculine, stating, ‘boys are not born w a bud in one hand & a dick in the other / boys are born crying’.” Hanh tells us that there is indeed a place for these boys and it is holy.

So much of what he says here mirrors so much of what many of us feel as we attempt to reconcile our faith with our sexuality. While not going through much of what he endured, I had many of the same thoughts as I attempted to find my place in the Jewish religion. The mandates are not as strong as what he encountered but the pain is the same. I do not remember ever using eroticism in order to bring Jewish traditions closer to me but this is what poet Hahn does so successfully and, dare I say, beautifully. He lays down his body (and from what I can tell, quite a nice body at that) to show the line between condemnation and pleasure. He applies Christian ritual and worship in order to show us different interpretations of biblical teachings and “poetry’s position in changing the perspective of dominant society’s values and beliefs.” As I read that thought, my lips form the word “Wow!”. 

Writing about Liberty University (Hahn uses a small “l”) he tells us that it is the world’s largest evangelical college thus showing it as an intimidating place for our people but then he gives us several poems that are confessional but do not require absolution.  The focus is on dominant and submissive figures in which God and daddy become interchangeable. You might ask if being submissive to daddy then means becoming submissive to God. “boy” answers to both “God” and “dad/dy,” thus showing that there is a great joy in being submissive. Yet passive and submissive are not the same. Passive does not mean that the submissive role does not allow for the action of enjoyment.

I believe what I love the most here is the use of biblical characters. Those of you who know me, know that I am a great fan of the Bible and its characters and that still today, I study Bible by myself for an hour every day. I am constantly looking at new approaches to understanding situations and characters. I am sure that for the next few days I will be influenced by how Hahn sees and uses these characters and that is one of the highest compliments I can give to him. Hahn’s biblical characters morph into members of his family and are used to show the relationship between the poet and God. He amazingly transforms Jesus (what do I know of Jesus?) into a gay son and God into his anti-gay father. Jesus suffers but gets no salvation and Hahn uses the crucifixion as a parable as to how God has created man and the homophobia that followed.

Hahn goes even further and reflects on the etymology of the word “faggot” showing us the connotations and denotations of the word and how social categorizations have used it. Rather than use it himself, Hahn has found metaphorical representations and analogies to say what he means.

I stand in awe of someone who attempts to do all that Hahn has done here. He shows us intimacy holding hands with violence while portraying the beauty of gay people and what it means to be gay. I could keep on writing for pages and pages but I suggest that you get a copy, read it and then we will talk.

Andrew Hahn is a queer poet and writer living in Fort Lauderdale. He has his MFA from Vermont College of Fine Arts and was invited to be the writer-in-residence at Randolph College. His poetry and essays can be found online at Screen Door Review, Butter Press, Crab Fat Magazine, Crab Creek Review, and Pithead Chapel among others.

 

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