“The Attachment Effect: Exploring the Powerful Ways Our Earliest Bond Shapes Our Relationships and Lives” by Peter Lovenheim— Attachment Theory in Practice

Lovenheim, Peter. “The Attachment Effect: Exploring the Powerful Ways Our Earliest Bond Shapes Our Relationships and Lives”, Tarcher Perigee, 2018.

Attachment Theory in Practice

Amos Lassen

Peter Lovenheim reveals how attachment is so much a part of our lives and shows us how it manifests itself in almost everything we do. We see here how our early childhood experiences create a blueprint for all our relationships that come after. While attachment theory came into being some fifty years ago and was widely accepted in psychological circles, it is really popular now. We can understand that this is because we are discovering how powerfully it sheds light on who we love–and how.

Award-winning journalist and author Peter Lovenheim wanted to understand it from the inside out and began interviewing researchers, professors, counselors, and other experts, as well as individuals and couples whose attachment stories illuminate and embody the theory’s key concepts. From that journey comes this engaging and revealing book, which is part journalism, part memoir, part psychological guide as well as a fascinating read for anyone who wants to better understand the needs and dynamics that make up and drive the complex relationships in our lives.

We look at the following topics:

  *  What it means to be securely and insecurely attached

  *  How our early childhood experiences create a blueprint for future relationships–and how to use those insights to gain self-awareness and growth

  *  Why anxious and avoidant attachment types tend to attract each other, and how to break the negative cycle

  • How anyone can work to become “earned secure” regardless of their upbringing and past relationships.

There is something here to enlighten every person and because the author takes a personal approach, you feel that he is right here speaking with you. As we learn about the new science of attachment, we become able to learn more about ourselves. Reading this overview of the research and social psychological theory gives us the tools we need to not only understand ourselves but to better attach to others. as a source of improved understanding of ourselves–and to better attach to others. We not only look at the meaning and uses of attachment theory but also see the

hows and whys of our connections with each other. I never thought about the term attachment as applying to people before but I see how useful it is. We gain insights into what makes a relationship fail or succeed,  and how a better understanding of our attachment style can help save a relationship that for whatever reason is not working. We also see how different styles of attachment shape behavior in different settings and people and why some people seem to be “unattachable”. If that is not enough, this is also a fun read.

 

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